The Story so far:

In the beginning, the Internet was created.

This has made a lot of hackers very rich and been widely regarded by IT security professionals as a bad move.

Many people believe that it was created by Steve Jobs, though the Qultists of America believe that the entire Internet was in fact a byproduct of George Washington cleaning his dentures while crossing the Delaware.

These Qultists, who live in perpetual fear of the time they call The Rapture, are self-described God-fearing humans with a need for dental hygiene, and unique in being living proof that common sense is not so common.

Luckily, the Internet-of-Dentures Theory is not widely accepted outside Qultist circles and so, the Internet being the puzzling place it is, other explanations are constantly being pushed.

For instance, a race of quasi-intelligent lizard people once built themselves a gigantic burrow under the Earth’s crust called the HyperLoop and embarked upon an experiment where the Greatest Nation on Earth would be given the Internet to see if, when, and how the Internet would influence them.

For almost two hundred years this selected nation waged wars and claimed the throne as the Greatest Nation on Earth, and in the end it was discovered that the Internet could destroy a nation in just two generations — and so another experiment was built to determine if it could destroy this great Nation in just one generation.

This experiment, which was called the MetaVerse, was so convoluted that it was frequently mistaken for a company — especially by the gullible users and investors who made up its population, completely unaware that they were simply part of a grandiose experiment.

Of course, this idea is slightly more palatable compared to the theory that JFK Jr. would return to run as Vice President — or so it would seem. Yet, while some Qultists will accept and understand the idea that they are just part of a giant experiment ran by lizardmen, they are quite resistant to the farfetched idea that the Internet was not George Washington’s greatest discovery, but a variable introduced to them by the lizard people.