The Foreigner’s Guide to America

The Story so far: In the beginning, the Internet was created. This has made a lot of hackers very rich and been widely regarded by IT security professionals as a bad move. Many people believe that it was created by Steve Jobs, though the Qultists of America believe that the entire Internet was in fact […]

Memory

“That’s too expensive!” “If you don’t want it, then leave.” Noelle glared at the cloaked man. “$2000.” He tapped at the shop’s menu board next to him. “Non-negotiable.” Noelle clenched her fists. “How about just 9 months? I don’t have $3000.” She couldn’t see his visage from behind the cowl, but there was a chilling […]

Trees

“I don’t know, My Lord. It just doesn’t seem correct.” Explain why you think human children should not be borne from trees. Sandalphon folded their pure white wings against their back as they looked at the test tree in question, pondering how best they could answer God’s question. “It’s a very…complicated birth cycle, to say […]

Tongue-Lash

“I didn’t give you permission to speak, Darien.” “I’m sorry, Mr. Smith.” Darien looked down at the floor and clasped his hands together. “If you are you wouldn’t have responded.” John Smith swiveled around in his office chair and turned to face Darien. It was only late in the afternoon, but John’s normally pasty white […]

Moss

It arrived lush green then, At the beginning — all the way back when, I had blotted my very first pen And you wanted to spruce up your personal den. You nagged at me to care for it too, For it couldn’t survive on just morning dew. And I did, I watched it spread anew, […]

Receipts

Hello Jerry, Thank you for shopping with us. As you’ve requested, we’ve attached a summary of your purchases and returns with us for this year below. Summary of Purchases: Item name Delivery Date Charging Brick 01/03 His/Hers Key Holder, Wall Mounted 01/16 Hydrangea Flower Bouquet 02/13 Nausea Relief 04/06 Pregnancy Pillow 04/26 Book — So […]

Money

One would think it would be a good job being a therapist for the richest duck in the world, but Lawrence learned otherwise when he found Scrooge McDuck walking into his office late one afternoon. The duck swiftly inquired whether Lawrence’s therapy sessions were as cheap as advertised on the front door. When Lawrence, still […]

Trial 2

“Well, seeing your stupendous achievement in defending the Monkey King in Court, you’ve been assigned to —” Kevin held up his hand. “Is it another mythological figure?” The angelic clerk paused, her halo shimmering with light as she peered at him. “Well, mythological is —” “Is it a deity.” He asked flatly. She sighed. “Well, […]

Blood

From the outside this house looks old, but wonderful. It has been built with white stones and has granite decorations. Small, triangular windows add to the overall look of the house and have been added to the house in a fairly symmetrical pattern. The building is shaped like an L. The extension extends into wooden […]

Splitting

The problem of splitting a bill is quite the interesting one. There are those who consider prior, those who ruminate later, and all manners of people in between — including those that do not ponder it at all. For those of you that consider yourself to be in that final category, I must sincerely apologize. […]